Bezos and Musk are also locked in a battle to see who can become the first uncomfortably rich man to colonise space. So this rivalry is all about money? Well, money and space. If you stacked 200bn house bricks on top of each other, you would get about halfway to Mars. If the wealth of either Musk or Bezos was divided equally between the population of the UK, we would each be £3,000 richer. Put it this way: they are each worth the equivalent of New Zealand’s GDP. Sorry, that’s an unfathomably large number. What happened? Was there a devastating fire? A lawsuit? Will he have to sell his house? No. Oh no, that’s an unthinkably large amount of money. So what happened this time? Bezos lost a billion dollars on Monday. Then, in March, Musk had more money, then Bezos did again. Bezos has, for the most part, had more money than anyone since 2018, but a Tesla stock rally in January meant that Musk overtook him for the first time.

Bezos and Musk keep leapfrogging each other for the title of world’s richest person. You could do something useful with it, such as eradicating cancer. But if an obscenely wealthy billionaire can’t make fun of another obscenely wealthy billionaire in public, then what’s the point of having all that money? This is the most obnoxious thing I’ve ever heard. Why are we talking about them? Musk wants to send Bezos a giant statue of the number two, along with a silver medal, after beating him to become the world’s richest person. OK, you’re right, I was too quick to judge.

Now now, just because they’re both rich doesn’t mean that Musk and Bezos are monsters. Oh great, the Godzilla v Kong of turbo-gits. Appearance: Gold-plated, stomach-churning vulgarity.

Elon musk jeff bezos